Medusa Moon

2002-08-29T00:06:00.000Z

There is so much cruelty in the world. Suffering begets suffering. It has become very hard for me to read the news, yet I do, why? I have to know what is going on, yet I am still astonished at the behaviours I see exhibited. I have to stop and remember to breathe, to calm myself, to not cry at all the horrible scenes unfolded before me. I have to remember that I am far away from those actual events geographically. It is astonishing the deceit and the misery and the mental illness and the power mongering. I wonder, what will become of us in the years to come as the pollution and the chemtrails and the genetically modified food and the programming on television and the outright oppression reach critical mass. Will we all be mutants? Is there any way to stay truely healthy and mentally free? Is there any way to be true to our Arts and our souls, without simply regurgitating what we have been force-fed? Maybe I am still somewhat depressed over my miscarriage, but I am finding that my normal defense mechanisms are thin. I percieve too clearly, too empathically, I FEEL too much to be faced with such visions of suffering.

2002-08-24T22:02:00.000Z

America - A Nation Of Monsters
I have to say I agree with both letters here, haha. What a sad state of affairs. I can understand the Canadian's fear of living right next to an emerging totalitarian superpower. He is right for the most part about the general apathetic Amerikan zombie. We are a zombie nation. But, we are not all mindless slaves, there are alot of us who are deeply afraid, and await the construction of the most evil and insidious fascist regime ever to disgrace this planet with shivers of horror. Because of advances in technology, this level of "big brother" has never been attainable before. Maybe as an artist, I am lucky to be in the center of it, so that I can use it in my Works. Maybe as an artist I will be one of the first to be sent to a detention/brainwashing camp.

I have not been blogging for several days due to my depression over my miscarriage, but I am feeling better now. Post more soon.

Oh and by the way, I am Scorpio, u have been warned...

2002-08-17T21:54:00.000Z

I just painted a new piece called "Human Zygote as Planet". A cathartic piece to symbolize my miscarriage, yet also part of my interest in painting outerspace and specifically nebulas. I am really proud of this piece. Often I am out at night, stargazing, in the country, the milky way clear, and that is definately an influence here. Time ceases to control me when I am alone or with my Mate under the sky, standing on the earth, looking out into the vastness of possibilities and hope, and the auras of the sleeping rising like mist to soar freely if only for a little while.

2002-08-16T21:09:00.000Z

Well, I am moving my website right now, and am hoping to get Blogger to work on it. It's a free site, so who knows...

2002-08-15T06:57:00.000Z

Here are the results of an Enneagram Test I took. It's frighteningly accurate, even the negative traits.

2002-08-15T06:45:00.000Z

Wired 10.09: Vision Quest
This is so exciting, I want to be Borg too! Why not upgrade "the robot" that is our bioselves? I want to be uber! Oh and speaking of robots, this robot teaches itself to fly. Both these stories made me shiver with delight and wonder.

2002-08-14T20:27:00.000Z

Turn Yourself In and Get It Over With

In secret, she leans over, slips open the curtain
just a tiny bit, cold glass, cold cheek pressed against the sill
there is an eerie silence on the streets tonight
dancing and laughing and strolling have long since
been outlawed, and all handshakes are recorded.
She sighs, her breath misting against the pane
and it obscures her view for a moment-
she panics, and slides away from the window in a rush.
She looks over at her husband,
who is videotaping her every move.

-Medüsa Shên dé Møøn

You will see this scenario in Amerika just like we saw it in old Nazi Germany. It's the end of the world as we know it in this country which should be ashamed of itself. Anyone got a hamlet in Europe I could rent? Oh wait, that's all flooded. Hmm looks like I might have to go to ....Canada? Antarctica? The Moon?

2002-08-13T17:51:00.000Z

Today I am tired, my legs are cramped, I am unwashed, hot, sick to the soul, and I just wanna sleep forever. But I also want to live, I want to be happy, and I feel guilty for wanting to be happy because I just lost my baby. My baby. We never own another entity, I know this. Every soul must follow its own path. I am at a loss for rationalization and yet wisdom keeps rearing its head.
Shhhhhh..... there is no such thing as permanence. There are only moments of connexion, of one soul touching another, i shen de shen
and then there is silence, and a cool breeze in the night air, and the stars that go on seemingly forever. There is only quietness and peace beyond all the mayhem and sorrow that is life. This place of solace is the current from which life leaps out, we cannot be without it. We forget to hear it rushing beneath us, to wash our blood-soaked hands and mudcaked feet in it.
I want a souvenier, a momento, proof that I had this being within me, that there was this Other that was a part of my current, that my Mate and I had a true Love-child. I am left with empty hands and a feeling that my life is no longer whole. I want Art to wash me clean, I want earth and sky uncorrupted. I feel betrayed by the Goddesses, I feel ridiculous for even saying that. I hurt, I am filled with an overwhelming survival instinct in the face of death. I don't want to be this sad forever.

2002-08-13T17:24:00.000Z

An asian morning, grey layers of concrete
hotel rooms, the washbasin.
A wind-blown reed, in the evening
on the lake, wild birds, or deeper
schools of fish, clear lagoon water.
O the trees, the pen upon paper
the scratching of the devil, at the door
listening to your own inner ear.

Benevolent ink lays over me,
cleaves me open, sutures my wounds,
and I am caught, as if by a sudden stillness.

Medüsa Shên dé Møøn.

2002-08-12T17:51:00.000Z

I had a miscarriage. I found out there is a staggering 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Which means there was nothing I could have done. I am devastated. Because I did everything right, and it was for naught. I am helpless. I have lost more and more deeply than I ever thought possible. There is a special place that pregnant women live in, it is a radiant garden, free of all ugliness, filled with the sweetest joy and bliss, filled with luminence. I have been cast out of that place in a torrent of blood and pain and sorrow. The lava has erupted into a deadly volcano, destroying the garden which resided on top of the ancient mountain. There is an eerie silence. Wind blows in strange gusts, like on the coast, only there is no scent of seawater, only blood and tears.

2002-08-12T00:09:00.000Z

Viewer's Guide: Perseid Meteor Shower Peaks Sunday & Monday
I saw some meteors, racing and falling across the sky. It was awe inspring, beautiful. The night was clear and the nebulas of the milky way were highly visible. The moon, a crescent moon, was illuminated for some reason, I could see it's complete roundness, like a giant fat planet hanging there on the horizon, so close to earth. I was aware of standing on a planet, of being in my own scifi, of being so small and yet so much a part of the vastness that is life.

2002-08-07T21:14:00.000Z

Well, U may have noticed my absence for a couple of days. Turns out my menstrual cycle ended abruptly as it began. I am now pregnant with my first child. I am in awe, dreamy, calmly blissful, excited, scared, nervous, and enlightened. I am luminous and ill, and inspired. I wasn't going to post this, but this is my Blog, and since I lack a support structure of a circle of females, I will share here, and hope to achieve some surcease from the lonliness of the suffering and the joy. My Mate is of course more wonderful and attentive than any woman could hope for, but how could I leave the most important news and process in my life out of my Blog?

My child is now a mere zygote, not yet a fetus, yet I am filled with its presence like a mystic is filled with the current of prana and moonlight. Concieved under Hekate moon (darkmoon), surely the goddesses have taken notice, and send blessings like rain and wind to satiate me in my bliss. I no longer walk every step alone on my own twofeet, my Mate beside me. I am now 2 sentient beings, and have discovered that Life is more zen than I had ever thought possible. Every moment unfolds into the world like an eternal flower, an amaranth, a lotus, a quietness of being and breathing, and an undercurrent of feral power, like lava from an ancient mountain, which has been sleeping under snow lo all these many years.

2002-08-06T03:50:00.000Z

Father's Poem, Son's Conviction. Fascism and censorship has its own special kind of madness. Behavior that in any enlightened society would send the oppressor to the mental asylum, is common and vulgar, and cruel.

2002-08-04T03:07:00.000Z

Tonight I have alot on my mind, and so will offer u some delightful links to peruse:

meet the rabbit !!!
karusele. spin the lever

2002-08-04T01:30:00.000Z

Kidnapping for kicks in New York is a story about a service that will kidnap willing victims for alot of money. This true news story is alot like Fight Club, and it is really interesting.

2002-08-01T21:49:00.000Z

Ah, the glories of REFORMATTING. And the best news of this painful and tedious process? I forgot to backup my bookmarks. That's right, I'm screwed. I am in too bad of a mood to even blog about this anymore. Except to say, if pc parts and software companies weren't so damn competitive that they feel the need to highjack your system, make all their parts incompatible with other parts, and mailiciously wipe out useful codecs because you choose to use another manufacturer's sound card and destroy directx in the process so the machine becomes a crash fest, then none of this would have happened and I would still have my precious bookmarks. Soundblaster, I HATE U.

2002-07-30T18:58:00.000Z

Well, sad to say I am feeling a bit....unstable, as in ungrounded in...consensual reality....all due to Menstruation! That's right, I said it. I played AO (mmporg) for almost 12 straight hours yesterday just to escape the flesh. Meat, bone, water, BLOOD. There was a beautiful overcast and windy day, then a storm at night, and me in my private agonies writhing on the bed. A prison of the flesh, of supersition, of medical malady. It is like my skin is trying to slither off me, like an advanced case of ther heebie jeebies. No cure but the solace of sleep, and insane nightmares. I always have the most unbelievable and gory dreams during menstruation, like this one I had yesterday:

My dear old friend from schooldays, a white trash marilyn monroe type, is visciously murdered and the whole town is lamenting. The cops give me the shell of her eye for me to scrye clues from. It is shaped like a large contact lens, rubbery, moist, and I can see her pupil and iris on its surface. I gaze into her dead eye and I see her final night on earth. She is getting naked before a parade of men, and they have sex with her, each in turn, sometimes several at a time. This goes on for a long time. Then, a certain boy we both knew walks in, he looks strung out, and I realize immediately he is the one who has killed her! He approaches her, and I wake up! I try futiley and desperately to fall back asleep to finish the vision, so I can tell someone it was him! Then I realize after many minutes of this, that it isn't real and that I am really awake in my bed, in the really real world.

Such delightful dreams are the mainstay of my menses. I feel a bit insane, as you can see why.

On the bright side, I painted my first "nebula/space art". It was intrinsic to the piece that I recreate the lighting effect of the nebula, as if a celestial glory radiates upon it. I don't believe in "God" but nebulas have an awesome power, a sentience, a radiance of the "sacred". You can see it (click on "nebula the first"), but remember it's my first using that subject matter, so look upon it with a kind eye.

2002-07-27T19:30:00.000Z

What are memes? "The faith meme is a classic. This meme helps reinforce any other meme it is associated with. It acts just like the AIDS virus, attacking the immune system. By neutralizing logic and reason the faith meme will allow the other memes it is associated with to take a firm hold on the minds of its host. Christianity is a very advanced form of adaptive multi-stranded meme complex. Like many biological viruses it has smaller units within it that soften up the target, spread the "payload" rapidly and at the same time react with ruthless efficiency against any of the brain's immune responses." -Martin J Willett

Innoculate yourSelf against mind control. Just because u think u have seen/heard/experienced the be-all end all explanation for some phenomenon/theory/idea, doesn't mean anything except u have uncovered a piece of the pattern, merely an aspect, a facet of a gem. Stay awake, accept the possibility that what u believe is untrue, even unreal. The pattern emerges, we gather pieces as artists and present them as an offering to the process of evolution. Will all these fragments ever be reconciled? They won't if u allow yourself to be led like a sheep to the slaughter, a zombie to the feast, feeding on brains, seeking to satisfy the meme that made u a zombie in the first place.

2002-07-27T17:45:00.000Z

I was commenting on Kid Incandenza's blog , and it got me thinking about the nature of the Muse. This is what I wrote to him:

True writers write because they have no choice. If you don't bleed onto the page, you begin to feel like you are going to implode. As horrid as it is, I feel I need an audience, or else my work will end up in the rubbish bin, unread, unseen, unknown. But the Work doesn't care about all that. It has a life of its own, which is why it does not feel like you, because it isn't you, it is a current that seeks its own vessels, it is why there is a legend of a Muse. You are a vessel for eloquence, for buried treasure coming into the light, for Truth unmasked. The writer is merely the filter of perception this current passes thru, which is what makes our writing unique to ourselves.

I too have struggled with the frustrations of the unread page, a work long toiled over until every syllable was perfectly in its rythmic, poetic place, only to have been cast into the land of the lost, boxed away, backed up on disk, shelved until some strange chance, some curious stranger, uncovers it. I have discovered that Blog is that stranger.

I have seen such wonders and souls layed wide open, such as I have never seen. It is a rennassaince of the Muse in her many guises. She is a current of creation, of the impulse to live, and of the desire and need to be Percieved and therefore made real.

For if a tree falls in a forest and there is no one to see, does it make a sound? If a writer writes, and there is no one to read, does it have any purpose?

2002-07-26T16:32:00.000Z

Recent Engrish Discoveries
Okay I cannot stop laughing out loud this site is Funny! "Engrish" is a term used to refer to mispelled and mistated english language signs in Japan. It's really a widespread phenomenon. You would think someone would tell them, "hey! your english is dreadful, fix this sign!" but these signs make it past printing, into your view, so funny.
*holds hand over mouth and giggles*

2002-07-26T15:51:00.000Z

mc.clintock.com is a really funny site displaying one mad artist's obsessive nature. He seems to be searching for a pattern in his life, the trail and clues hidden in his objects. Good luck to him. >^_^<

2002-07-26T10:42:00.000Z

Siamese Kittens

This is a sad outrage. Pollution is causing more Mutants than a paperback scifi novel. Just go to a flea market and see what I mean. Some frightening examples of the de-evolution of the human species. These poor kitties...I hope they are already dead so they can have a chance to reincarnate into a more viable form, hopefully as individual kittens. Just makes me really sad.

2002-07-26T10:37:00.000Z

Ex-Dictator Broke, Living With Mom

Now here is an interesting read. Just goes to show u, there is never an "end-game" to life. No one ever "wins". So why the hell is everyone competing so hard, relax ya'll!

2002-07-26T01:21:00.000Z

Oh Great! I have a fire ant bite on my nipple!! I am not a happy camper friends let me tell u. There is a plague of fire ants in my yard, and they got in my house...it's like those insect invasion horror movies, only its real!

2002-07-26T01:13:00.000Z

Suicide Bombers Can Kill From Beyond The Grave

Wow so just read this lil horror show. My my my.... Can u imagine having another person's body part shrapnel inside u? Ick!

2002-07-25T13:36:00.000Z

Medusa:
The mythos revealed. The archetype of the female in all our glorious power is still here after all the subjugation we have endured.

Hex-Goddess

her tongue rasps across the face of the lion
she is squatting in fields
no eyes upon her for miles, even under water

she wears the moon upon her brow
languid and hot

the great beast rises to meet her
driven through the thick of the terrain
where creatures on all fours turn away
the carrion birds hiding their faces
behind the veil of a maternal feathered breast

in time, the shadows raise their faces
to look into the darkness greater than themselves
it is beginning to dawn

- Medüsa Shên dé Møøn

2002-07-25T11:25:00.000Z

The Letter from the Sahara

We are stranded, on this expedition
the Way of the civilized man has been lost
and the ammunition is quickly depleting
for the world is so hungry for us
that we cannot sleep even with sentries

for fear of the mewlings and the rumblings
and the coarse slitherings
swimming in the desert night

our guide, the darkskinned boy from the city of begging boys
is gone from us, two nights ago
he killed himself with a machete

the Englishman with the collection of animal teeth
well, it is unspeakable what he has done to the darkskinned boy

and I raise my pale whiteskinned palms to the starry night
imploring what ever restless African gods may choose to cast an eye
upon our pathetic camp
for rescue, and nourishment, and the balm of sanity

it has been to long since I have had the sleep of a civilized being
the kind that one can only luxuriate in in a soft bed
in a cocoon of mosquito netting

it has been too long since I have had the dreams of the sane
my dreams are unspeakable, we of this lost colony
look upon one another with cunning, leery eyes, as if we know intimately
the horror of the other's dreamscape

and are ready to hold each other's honor ransom.

- Medüsa Shên dé Møøn

2002-07-24T09:51:00.000Z

"Today I saw the dragonfly come from the wells where he did lie. An inner impulse rent the veil of his old husk; from head to tail came out clear plates of sapphire mail. He dried his wings; like gauze they grew; through crofts and pastures wet with dew a living flash of light he flew."
- "The Two Voices," Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1833

Speaking of tattoos, I have a tribal design of a dragonfly, on my tailbone, with various imagery worked into the wings. The dragonfly, in American Indian lore, is the keeper of the veil between the worlds. Therefore I put one on the base of my spine, to help the kundalini energies have a doorway, hopefully to enhance astral travel, evolution, power flow, and sex magick. Plus, it makes me look thinner.

2002-07-24T08:13:00.000Z

Oh great! Now Disney, the scourge of intellectualism and free-thinkers is going to be making Crop Circles! Is nothing sacred!?! They are not just making the movie, but are actually going into fields and human-constructing them. Bah!

I am very moved and interested in real crop circles. I collect the images and have found an amazing site that reconstructs them. The system of sacred geometry is clearly at work here. I am considering making tattoos of the black glyphs of the circles.

2002-07-24T07:56:00.000Z

Last night I went to the Yahoo! gallery of photos from the Israel attack on the Hamas Sheik's home and neighboorhood. I saw a dead baby and dead children.. I saw indescribable horror on the faces of the rescuers. I cried a little and felt the hair stand up on my skin, all over. Suffering begets suffering. For what choice is there now to Hamas but retribution? This cruelty will never end. Humanity has a base nature which they obviously can never overcome. I wonder how Compassion can exist within the same brain-soul matrix as Cruelty. I wonder what crimes humans commited to be banished to this prison planet. How could it be worse than what is already being done to one another? What can redeem us?

2002-07-21T14:16:00.000Z

Incredible - 19 Cows Found Stuffed In Enormous Argentine Water Tank

Too bad Fox Mulder isn't around to see this.

2002-07-21T12:11:00.000Z

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